Rachel Benoist's Musings

World of Warcraft Screen Shot

Ltdarling — Sat, 25 Feb 2012 02:26:31 +0000

I have to join a new guild…. Nightwatch they seem so nice they want to see my screen so here it is. This is Kinkah my rogue.

Wish me luck I just want to make serious friends online.

Out of Reach – Gabrielle

Ltdarling — Sun, 19 Feb 2012 21:08:05 +0000

When I am away from “HIM” I find myself listening to this song. I guess it is my way of grieving. It is from my favorite movie Bridget Jones Diary.

Knew the signs
Wasn’t right
I was stupid for a while
Swept away by you
And now I feel like a fool
So confused,
My heart’s bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn’t see
We were never
Meant to be

Catch myself
From despair
I could drown
If I stay here
Keeping busy everyday
I know I will be OK

But I was
So confused,
My heart’s bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn’t see
We were never
Meant to be

So much hurt,
So much pain
Takes a while
To regain
What is lost inside
And I hope that in time,
You’ll be out of my mind
And I’ll be over you

But now I’m
So confused,
My heart’s bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach,
So far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn’t see
We were never
Meant to be

Out of reach,
So far
You never gave your heart
In my reach, I can see
There’s a life out there
For me

Family Photos

Ltdarling — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 01:57:54 +0000

Here is a picture of my daughter Sarah

Confusion

Ltdarling — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 10:53:10 +0000

Up late thinking about my failure at yet another attempt to make my boyfriend of several years happy. Which I believe is now an impossibility. I have to believe that his heart never really belonged to me in the first place. I cling to the belief that if I love him long enough, hard enough, his love for me will grow. Where have I done that before? ( My previous marriage. )

I always cling to the belief that I am a kind person, who tries to be as selfless as I can. I try to give what I can. People would see that and treat me with the same kindness. I am most often proved wrong. I opened my home, my heart, my trust and believed that this man was the last guy, I would ever love until my grave. At last I am wrong, I see that now.

We break up, and get back together when he is lonely, I go months without him, remaining faithful to someone who can stand being away from me for long periods of time. I die when he is gone, I don’t wish to live, smile or enjoy anything about myself that normally makes me happy. I can’t even look at another man, it is like dying inside. I can’t explain it. Well, I figured out that our times together are always brief and I am on cloud nine. Until he finds many faults in everything in my life again. My heart, my friends, my family, and personal problems. And then he disappears again. When he comes back he says sorry, he will try to stop, picking on me and then does it again. I take him back ’cause I love him… Rinse and Repeat. Yes, I know it is pathetic.

This last time, I took him back I promised myself if he does it again, breaks my heart. I will end it. Right now my heart is broken, he is gone, I have heard no word from him for 2 weeks, and I am once again picking up the pieces. So now, I have to live up to my promise. I find myself fighting this decision. He left me, and I have to understand that. I have to move on. It isn’t like I haven’t broken off unhealthy relationships before. Why is this guy so difficult seriously?

Write more later, I am too tired.

Online Men

Ltdarling — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 13:23:10 +0000

After being, single for several months, I have decided to start dating again. I have been putting myself out there to meet new potentials. What an experience so far, and I thought I would share some recent experiences I have been having with this endeavor. What a treat for someone who hasn’t been on the market, emotionally or mentally for a while.

I have made a promise to myself to give out my real number to men who seem interested and attractive to me. I have been attending classes and doing thinks that interest me, in hopes that I might meet a nice guy. So far I have been received quite nicely. Helps when I dress nicely and get out of the house. But that is another blog.

Occasionally, I will meet someone online through, Facebook, emails , or online dating sites and I agree to meet them on yahoo. I find after messaging for a while, I end up getting a naked picture of them or a proposition to get together for sex. If that doesn’t happen within the first week, I get invited to a video chat. I understand that they want to see if my pictures are real, and want to see me live on cam before meeting in person. So I oblige. Lately, this has turned into lets cyber sex. It seems that is all men want, well the majority of guys online anyways. Seriously guys would you talk to a woman like that in person? Is that all you think I am online for?

Listen, I am no prude, I never said I am not interested in men that way. I am just curious, what happened to good conversation and getting to know someone? I am so sick of being treated this way, and besides my ignore list is getting full. If I say. I am not interested, I am not interested. Doesn’t mean I still want to look at your umm.. resume.

How hard is it to find a nice guy anywhere that isn’t drunk, that isn’t married looking for something on the side? Is there such a thing as just taking a girl out to dinner and showing her a good time before getting naked?

Where are the nice respectable men? Do they even exist?

To Be 8 again!

Ltdarling — Thu, 01 Sep 2011 15:35:41 +0000

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was
looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not
far off he asked what she’d like to have for her birthday.’I'd like to be eight again’, she replied, still looking in the mirror .On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her to Adventure World theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was.

Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald’s where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.

Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favourite candy, M&M’s. What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.

He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, ‘Well Dear, what was it like being eight again?

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.’I meant my dress size, you f@*#*! retard!!!!’

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong.

Butterflies, Flowers & Dragons

Ltdarling — Sun, 17 Jul 2011 06:20:48 +0000

I am not sure how I feel about the pink Daisies, I sort of expected more, but other people seem to like it.

I have been experimenting with drawing, watercolours and ink. I find it fun and I really seem to be enjoying myself with it. I love it. Been taking painting classes with Brenda and another art class and I seem to be loving it.

So what do you think?

My Lastest Drawing

Ltdarling — Tue, 28 Jun 2011 07:28:25 +0000

I was finishing up some drawings / paintings for an art show I will be attending tomorrow and drew this cute little frog. I just love him what do you think?

Write more soon.

Rachel

I used to like Harold

Ltdarling — Thu, 19 May 2011 23:32:05 +0000

IT Jokes… Jokes I Found Amusing..

I was having trouble with my computer.

So I called Harold the computer guy, to come over.?
Harold clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.?
He gave me a bill for a minimum service call.

As he was walking away, I called after him, “So, what was wrong?”

He replied, “It was an ID ten T error.”

I didn’t want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired,?”An, ID ten T error?

What’s that .. in case I need to fix it again?”

Harold grinned…. “Haven’t you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?”

“No,” I replied.

“Write it down,” he said, “and I think you’ll figure it out.”

So I wrote down . I D 1 0 T

I used to like Harold

Mega-Bug

Ltdarling — Thu, 19 May 2011 23:20:37 +0000

Mega-Bug intro and game screen

Much loved Game
in the 1980′s

Mega-Bug is one Steve Bjork’s most popular games for the Coco. Based on the Pacman theme of a maze filled with dots that you have to eat, it also differs in several ways. For one, the maze is MUCH larger and more complicated. Two, there are no power pills… you are always at the mercy of the monsters chasing you in the maze. Three, you are looking through a sliding magnifying glass to see where you are, and four, you leave trails behind you that the monsters will follow… if you make quick dashes into side corridors, you can throw the monsters off your trail. The game was also unique for the time in having both multi-voice music during several stages of the game, and even some speech (‘We gotcha!’). A very fun and addictive game, and similiar games were made for other platforms as well.

It should be noted that this game is actually cloned from an earlier Apple II game, called Dung Beetles.

Title: Mega-Bug Author: Steve Bjork (Datasoft)
Publisher: Radio Shack/Tandy Released: 1982
Requires: Color Computer 1,2,3, 16K RAM, cartridge.

Video link found on YouTube.com- Thank you Big Brother

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZIKyqZRlDc

Downloadable remake of the game… click here